One Girl’s Journey as an Eco-Bride

One of the major environmentally unfriendly aspects of weddings is the amount of waste it produces.  If you think about it, there’s a whole lot of often traditionally one-time use stuff that’s involved, from the dress to the flowers (more on that later), to those sometimes kitschy favors you often see.  I actually haven’t been to a wedding with those kind of things, but you know what I’m talking about, right?  Maybe it’s a funny little container made of pink plastic that holds chocolate.  You eat the chocolate, and eventually that container ends up in the trash.  Maybe it’s just some random object with the names and date on it; very nice, but really, who has the space on their shelves for the collection of wedding objects from lots of friends and family?  :)  Then think of that object multiplied times 100+, and then again by all the weddings that have them (there are 2.3 million weddings a year in the United States)!

One way to avoid all that waste is to not have favors at all.  Not only is there no impact in terms of manufacturing, shipping, and garbage, but it’s one less thing you need to plan for and worry about (and spend money on)! 

But, if you do want to provide some kind of token for your guests, as a way of expressing gratitude or for whatever other reason, there are some great options.

1. Give a small donation per guest (or a lump sum) to a favorite charity.  Or pick a few charities!  It’s up to you; it’s your day.  Let your guests know about the donation on the place cards (printed on recycled paper), in the invitations, or in the program.  It’s a great way to honor your guests by giving back.
2. Get crafty!  I’m sure lots of you can make really cool (and useful!) little things, from knitting cell phone cases, to making your own drinking glasses (just get one of these gadgets!).  I don’t want to reveal exactly what we’re doing, but I’ll drop the hint that we’re going to be making magnets out of something that’s easy to get a hold of.  Want to try?  Just buy some non-toxic, eco-friendly glue, some little magnets (or those easy to use adhesive magnetic squares, although that adhesive might not be so great for the environment), and stick the magnets to whatever you think your guests might enjoy!  I might stay away from putting just names and dates; make the object something quirky and fun to put on the fridge, and then use calligraphy to write your initials somewhere discrete so your guests never forget. 
3. Go with edible.  Just make sure to use the most eco-friendly and minimal packaging you can get away with.  Cute plastic boxes are fine, but un-bleached, recyclable boxes are even better.  Something local is always a great idea, too.  In Washington or New York, for instance, setting out beautiful local apples at your guests’ places with your grandmother’s recipe for apple crisp printed on recycled index cards would be lovely!  Candy “bars” are another favorite; give your guests a few options, and you’ll avoid any guilt over possible allergies or dislikes.  Just provide your guests with containers (collect, clean and resuse baby food or other small glass jars, or use brown paper bags or envelopes- recycled, of course!).
4. Go with living.  Flower seeds (or small potted plants, as long as your guests won’t have to transport them far), are another great idea.  Print the place card info on Flower Seed Paper (there’s lots of favor ideas here, actually), and put it on small pot, and you’ve given your guests all they really need to grow some beautiful flowers!
5. If you want to spend a bit more, go ahead and get useful things for your guests.  My friend Leonore, who got married just this past weekend (congrats!!), had pretty espresso cups with saucers (every one was different).  You could also consider giving out reuseable tote bags: tie them up with a pretty ribbon, or even get them printed (here’s a place you could put the name and date)!

Green weddings are becoming more and more popular.  Some might even say “trendy.”  And while I groan at that word, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one, I do think it does help get people to actually think a little about the choices and decisions they make, and hopefully lowers the environmental impact somewhere.  So when I see wedding planners who blog starting to post things about green weddings, that makes me happy.  And they’re experts!  They (might or seem to) know what they’re doing!  It’s a little different from my blog, where I’m kind of stumbling around and mostly just sharing my experiences with you and documenting ideas for myself.  So, I thought I’d share some of my favorite wedding resources with you.

• The first isn’t a website, but rather a book.  It’s called Eco-Chic Weddings, and it’s by Emily Anderson.  It’s basically my handbook.  Not only does it have lots of great tips, but it’s organized very well and is easy to read.  And you can definitely pick and choose what you decide to use, and Emily always seems to encourage using your own ideas.  And, my favorite part, it has lots of resources (including lots of websites!) that you can go to.  I actually bought the book, because I had a gift certificate and 2 sisters to pass it on to (and it’s awesome), but if you just want to check it out first before buying it yourself, go to your library (had to put that in somewhere)!  You can go to WorldCat, an awesome online catalog of lots of libraries all over the world - just type in your location to see if the book’s available near you!  If not, make your library get it.  :) 
• You should also check out Emily’s eco-chic blog!  Lots of great ideas all the time, and the archives are invaluable.
• I actually don’t remember how I found Ethical Weddings site (probably just by searching for “green” or “eco” and “weddings” in Google), but I really like it.  It has real-world stories, featured articles, and a list of ethical suppliers, just to name some of the resources on this user-friendly site.
• I’ve also come across Portovert numerous times on other blogs and websites.  I’m not the biggest fan of it, because it seems cluttered and yet overly simplistic at the same time, but it does have a national directory of green service providers in everything from locations to dresses.  It’s definitely a solid resource, and while I may not be the hugest fan (I think part of that is that it is a “national” resource and doesn’t quite have the personalized feel of Ethical Living or Eco Chic), it definitely deserves a spot up here.
• Those are my main resources for now, but I’m always on the lookout.  I’ve already had a couple expert-type people post comments on my blog with links to their websites (check out The Last Bridesmaid and How to Get Married in Green), and would love to get more!  And any other resources I’ll find, I’ll post to my del.icio.us account with the “wedding” tag, so new sites will always pop up on the left side of my blog.  

So those are the experts I’m going to.  :)  But I would also like to share with you my expertise.  I’ve got this degree in library and information science, and that training has given me a decent skill set for finding things.  So I’d like to take my best shot at finding things about green weddings for you!  I welcome any and all takers; and we’ll see who can stump the librarian…

So far, my planning and preparation for this wedding has followed this series of events:

1.) Proposed and got engaged (1.5 years ago).
2.) Jason decided we should set a date (10 months ago)
3.) Decided to work on having a green wedding (9 months ago)
4.) Mom bought me a wedding dress (5 months ago)

And then I started the blog. But getting the wedding dress before anything else was finalized? We don’t really have an exact date, just an “idea,” we only just decided on a state for the wedding and still have to figure out an actual location, and there’s got to be some other stuff that traditionally comes first.  But really, what wedding is actually traditional? We all do things mostly our own ways, and besides, there are no rules, only guidelines, right?

Back to the dress. This is sadly one of the areas where my eco leanings where misplaced in favor of my thrifty leanings and my Mom’s offer to buy it for me. The deal breaker? It was $70. JCrew had it on uber-sale, I’m assuming because they were getting rid of their “Tall” stock. But Tall is exactly what I need, at 6′. So I let her buy it.  And it’s beautiful and simple. But my guilt over not at least attempting to find some kind of eco-friendly option led me to at least do some research. And it was a learning experience:

1. Although it’s definitely up for debate, the material my dress is made of (pure silk) could be considered “green.” Silk is a renewable resource, and it’s biodegradable.  There are a few problems involved with it, though (according to Treehugger, http://www.treehugger.com), including the fact that the process requires killing the silk worms inside the cocoons, that there are really no local US sources (think transportation emissions), there are some chemical processes involved, and oftentimes it’s produced in countries that have little regulation/monitoring as far as working conditions and wages go. 
2. Related to that last point, I decided to learn a little more about JCrew. So I turned to a resource I knew existed, but hadn’t yet utilized: Co-op America’s Responsible Shopper. The entry for JCrew can be found at http://www.coopamerica.org/programs/responsibleshopper/company.cfm?id=244.  What they revealed confirmed my suspicions: JCrew is not one of the most socially-responsible or environmentally-friendly companies out there.  They’re perhaps not the worst, but they’ve been associated with sourcing from factories with sweatshop-like conditions, and from sourcing from companies that illegally dump their waste.

So, there are a couple of research tools for you, as you’re looking up information on everything from materials to clothing stores.  I’d also like to share with you a couple of the other ideas I had for wedding dresses, because options are always good (and my tall dress is no longer available).

1. Buy a dress that benefits a charity.  MakingMemories.org resells donated dresses at stops all over the country.  Their sales benefit the Breast Cancer Association, and you’ll be reusing.  And if you do decide to get a new dress (like me!), consider donating it to the cause afterwards.
2. Check out this newsletter from the I Do Foundation; they list several options (including MakingMemories): http://www.idofoundation.org/about/May2004.html.  It’s a little dated, but still useful!
3. Use your mother’s (or any woman’s in your family) wedding dress.  My mom still has hers, and I did consider altering it and wearing it.  It’s beautiful.  But I already got the family engagement ring, and I decided to let my younger sisters have the opportunity to wear her dress (my grandmother handmade it).  My youngest sister probably wouldn’t even have to have it altered.
4. Just get the dress that makes you happy, no matter where it’s from or what price you can afford.  From thrift stores to boutiques, there are lots of options!

While I’m trying my best to have a green wedding every step of the way, there is plenty I could do better.  I’m just doing what I can, and sharing what I learn.  I think this is a good place to reiterate that any decision you make, at any point in your wedding, life, party, whatever, to try to do something more environmentally and/or socially responsible, is truly commendable.  No one should expect you (and hopefully me!) to be perfect, and while there are people out there who would grumble and judge, ignore them.  This is getting cheesy, but I hope what I’m saying makes sense.   

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, my wedding dress (the standard version)!  Jason, no peeking.  And imagine it with a gold sash, which I’m going to create somehow (organic cotton?  maybe I can get Andrea from GaiaConceptions to help me out…):

Sophia Long Silk Dress

Grampa’s on the right

Originally uploaded by my sister Lisa

I apologize for not having blogged the last few days. First I just had the lame excuse of being lazy/busy (yep, I can do both at the same time). But then last Thursday, I got a call from my mom saying that my Grampa had passed away unexpectedly. He had apparently fallen asleep in the chair that my mom and aunt had given him for his 80th birthday just about a week before and never woke up.

I’m really lucky to have known him, and to have had him in my life for so long. But I was kind of devastated when I realized that even though my wedding was going to be much closer to him, he wasn’t going to be able to be there. Which is kind of selfish, but that was my thought.

So, for my post today, my “green” advice is just to cherish those you love, and let them know how you feel (pick up the phone, or maybe send a grow-a-note card). Which is probably kind of obvious to people reading a wedding blog, but I could always use a reminder.

Okay, this was kind of a long string of internet events, so let’s just go through it step by step. 

1.) I was checking out the clothing at Gaia Conceptions, the owner/designer of the Etsy store with the dresses I mentioned in an earlier post.  Because of my upcoming fellowship, I feel this need to purchase some grown-up clothes, and I thought, hey, might as well start with an organic clothing line with pretty colors (and I can test out my wedding palette!).

2.) Because Gaia Conceptions is based in North Carolina, I decided to check out the “Stores” section of the website to see if there was possibly a whole-seller somewhere closer.  I found 90210 Organics, in Los Angeles.  While I’m not sure that’s necessarily going to save shipping, since any gain in shipping large numbers of items from NC to CA might be lost in the long shipping from LA to Seattle, there was free shipping on orders over $100, which mine was.  I also like to save a buck.  :)  Of course, if you happen to be near Greenboro, NC, I recommend just checking out the cute store that sells Gaia Conceptions’ clothing, and you’ll save all those pesky shipping emissions and fees completely.

3.) When checking out of 90210 Organics, I saw a box for insterting a coupon code.  Now that’s just a tipoff that coupons exist, and both my mom and I have had lots of luck just googling to find coupon codes.  So I typed in “90210 organics coupon” into my Google box just to see what I could find.  And I found a whole site dedicated to green comparison shopping, complete with an entire coupons section!  This is going to make shopping for favors/bridesmaids’ gifts/things to put on the registry so easy.  So go check out Pristine Planet.  And not only is it a future resource, but I found a coupon that saved me an additional 10% off my 90210 Organics order.  Eco-score!

4.) Totally random tangent, but while I’m talking about Google, dear readers, I discovered Blackle way back when, and this is as good a time as any to share it with you.  Use less energy on your monitor by searching from an all black, rather than all white, screen (more info here).  Check out the comments! 

5.) And, finally, I’ll share with you what I ordered, and in doing so, reveal our (potential) wedding palette:

Kangeroo Tunic in Squash, Savannah Blouse in Wine.  Our colors hopefully being dark goldish and wine.  As soon as I get the shirts, I’ll take pictures and let ya’ll see.  They’re kind of grown-up, right?  Eventually, I think I’ll also get this pants/pantsuit, hopefully in grey, which is available on the Etsy store, but not on the website yet.  :)  Good thing librarians can be a little quirky and don’t necessarily have to be high-powered business (I do have a nice blazer and some pinstripe pants somewhere, though, just for emergencies).

So that’s it!  I suppose it’s a little bit of the librarian in me showing you my search strategies so that you can share in my wedding information literacy.  Now go, find all things wedding and eco and bring them to me!     

Okay, it’s official.  Well, at least Jason has told his parents, so that makes it pretty official in my book.  Barring unforeseen circumstances and/or any sudden decisions to take off and get married in Vegas with only my little sister and Elvis as witnesses, we will be getting married in Delaware.  Sorry, Seattle!  I love you, but it works out the best for everyone.  And we’re definitely going to be using our friend Mark for the catering.  He’s going to have his very own bread oven (yeah, I linked here earlier, but here’s a tiny bit more publicity for you, Mark), so I think it’s a win-win situation all around.  :)  Stay tuned for more info on the catering, like what we chose to serve, ingredients, how to reduce waste, etc. etc.

I have to admit, “living green” is something I feel the west coast does much better as a whole than the east coast.  I hope I’m going to be pleasantly surprised.  Obviously big cities have lots of options (New York, Philadelphia, DC), but maybe it’s just that people on the east seem more set in their ways and the fact that it’s been settled longer means they don’t have quite the same sense of awe about the land around them.  I’m not putting East Coasters down, I lived in the Adirondacks for years, and we learned about conservation (and surviving getting lost in the mountains!) in grade school, but I just feel like my friends and family there don’t quite get it yet when I talk about reducing and saving energy.  I’m not talking about buying organic groceries from Whole Foods down the street, but the big lifestyle changes just don’t seem to be quite as much on the forefront of the social conciousness.  Anyway, like I said, I’m hoping I’m proved wrong.  :)  I mean, I already know that New York City is pioneering change in plastic bag usage.  And the University of Delaware is a leader in photovoltaic energy.  So I don’t know why I’m worried!  Oh, and I haven’t explored this site yet, but maybe it’ll be promising (I just Googled “eco delaware”): http://greendel.org/index.xhtml.

Now, time to update the title for the entire “project.”  This blog will now become a little more about being a green bride in general, about my general philosophies towards creating a greener wedding, rather than resources specifically in Seattle.  Since there’s so much information on the web anyway, and we end up doing so much shopping online, a lot of stuff I will post (and have already posted!) is applicable anywhere.  Thanks for reading! 

Oh man, I just couldn’t resist putting this up now.  I’d been thinking I’d just do a post with lots of info about places to look for green/eco-conscious bridesmaids’ dresses, but I just found this one place that seems perfect and so I’m just going to go with it.  I’ll stick a couple more dresses I found at the end, just to give some alternatives. 

So, if you don’t know about Etsy, you NEED to check it out.  I have a feeling I’m going to be using it for a lot of things for this wedding; you can find everything from invitations to potential wedding party gifts to things I’d love to add to our registery, whenever we get on that.  It’s basically a community of artists and collectors selling their wares.  You can shop locally, search tags, browse categories, all the good things that librarians love.  Except that there is no advanced search, so I can’t search for organic clothing in Seattle.  Sigh.  Oh well, for the moment there aren’t that many sellers in any give location anyway, so that’s not a huge deal. 

Back to the dresses.  I searched the tags for “organic dress” and browsed through a lot of results that were fun and unique but not quite what I wanted.  Then I stumbled upon gaiaconception’s V-Neck Hemp Tank Dress. 

Isn’t it pretty?  And not only is it organic cotton, but it can be dyed in any of a number of beautiful colors.  And there are a whole lot more lovely dresses by gaiaconception, as well.  My goal is to find one place with several different dresses available in the same set of colors so that my bridesmaids can pick the style they want in the hopes that they’ll be able to wear them for many future occasions.  All that, and organic cotten?  I think I’m set. 

Another great thing?  They’re all under $200.  And most are around $125-150.  This. Is. Awesome.

But now, for another couple of eco-friendly, potential bridesmaid dresses, just in case you’re interested:

• ecoKashmere Assymetrical Hem Bandeau Dress from jonano (simple, and only in one color, although there is a similar style in black)
• wrap dress from twobirds (this is eco-chic more because it’s another one that can be used for many different occasions; i.e. reusable.  it’s not made of organic materials, but it is handmade in the US.  There are also matching men’s accessories.)
• A pattern for an infinity dress similar to the one from twobirds.  I’m not coordinated enough to do it myself, but maybe others are.  You can wear it in innumerable ways, and the color/fabric is really limited only by your imagination.

 As always, if you’ve found your own solution, let me know!

I know this cut us off…

Originally uploaded by UltimateLibrarian

My efforts to get this picture into the “about” page failed for the moment. So here’s a picture from Flickr.

Relatedly, to keep down disposable camera waste, we’re going to set up a flickr pool and encourage people to bring their own digital cameras to document the wedding.

Well, I may have to change the title of this blog.  Largely due to a very generous offer from a good friend, we are again considering getting married on the East Coast.  Probably Delaware, but it’s kind of near DC, and the Washington vs. Washington is better title.  Maybe.

Anyway.  So our friend Mark has offered to cater our wedding.  And he tempted us with promises of using local, seasonal food (and potentially organic) and a reminder that Dogfish Head brewery is found on the East Coast.  And he’s going to have his own bread oven…One of the original reasons why I was able to dismiss getting married on the East so easily was that I didn’t like any of the caterers I found in my searches around Delaware.  But the main reason Delaware is on the list is that Jason’s parents moved there, and it’s fairly close to all my New York relatives.  Not only is that a plus just in terms of older relativies being able to come, but it means less travel and hence a smaller carbon footprint.  On the other hand, that benefit may be offset by the number of friends we have traveling from other places, including Seattle.  So, nothing’s set in stone.

But, in the meantime, I have been researching a few places in the Seattle area where we could get married.  The idea is to have the reception and the ceremony as close as possible, and preferably in the same place, so that we can just relax in one place and not have to take a bunch of cars somewhere else.  Here’s the list (all can accomodate at least 150 people):

Clise Mansion, Redmond, WA

Pros:

• Both ceremony and reception could be held here easily.
• Beautiful indoor and outdoor spaces
• Not too expensive, the information I received had Sunday from 11am-4pm at $975.
• Preferred caterers include several of the caterers that I have been vaguely looking at, including Herban Feast (there will be more in-depth food posts later, I’m sure).
• They have A/V equipment available (more on the reception music later, too).

Cons:

• On the Eastside
• Can only use preferred caterers
• Booking for September 6th will be tricky; the managers have to leave those dates open until the park’s concert schedule is set, so you get your name on a waiting list.

Fremont Abbey, Seattle, WA

Pros:

• Can house both ceremony and reception.
• It’s in Seattle proper and is more easily accessible both by car and public transportation.
• It’s a beautiful building
• The organization that runs it is doing great things for the community and supports youth arts education.
• It has A/V equipment available.

Cons:

• More expensive: I was quoted 1300-1600 (but it is a holiday weekend).
• No outdoor space (can’t throw a frisbee!  sigh).
• Might have to use a preferred caterer? 

Redhook Brewery, Woodinville, WA

Pros:

• Delicious microbrews!  Sorry, had to put that first.  It’s the one thing we’re definitely set on for the reception because we both love it so much (although I like my porters and he likes his IPA’s)!
• Cheap: $400 for the room that holds 200 and $700 for the big outdoors “bowl” that holds 300.  That’s just from the website, though, so it might not hold on a holiday weekend.
• Outdoors area (hopefully we’d have access).
• For Seattle area friends, it’s easily accessible by bike via the Burke Gilman trail.
• Did I mention the microbrews?
• In-house catering with a yummy appetizer buffet @ $16 a person.  And preliminary research shows some amount of organic/local focus on the food…

Cons:

• On the Eastside.
• Not clear if we could have the ceremony there, but I believe we would be able to find a place nearby.
•  Preferred caterers.
• Not sure of the A/V equipment or tables/linens status.

So, that’s what I’ve got so far.  It’s pretty basic, but I like to think it’s a start.  The location, and how people will be traveling, will be the biggest challenge to maintaining a low carbon footprint.  I’ve got some resources for offsetting that I’ll put up eventually, but for now we’re going to keep looking at how to continue to lesson our impact.  Keeping to (and deciding on) one location will be important, to minimize how far people have to go. 

One last thing: today would have been my sister Christine’s 24th birthday.  My whole family and all her friends miss her so much.  I’m so glad I asked her to be my maid of honor (waaaay before I was even engaged) before she passed away, and I’ll be honored to list her in our program as such.  So, my final thought: take nothing for granted, from this planet to your best friends and family.

Since I just spent a lot of time today trying to figure out how to insure my ring (I didn’t have renter’s insurance, and then there was this thing with too many roommates…it got figured out, though, <3 State Farm), I thought I’d post something really fast about it.

I’m the 4th generation woman to wear this ring in my family.  It originally belonged to my maternal grandmother’s aunt (according to a letter kept in my parents’ firesafe, it’s from 1928), who passed it on to my grandmother, who passed it on to my mother via my dad (who had the diamond reset in a simple gold band so that he had some say in it), and now to me.  I’ve put the stone back in the original platinum setting, and it’s beautiful.  And not only is it amazingly unique with a great story and am I fortunate enough to wear it until I pass it on to the next generation (it skips my sisters and will go to either an eldest daughter or niece; i didn’t make the rules, but I sure benefitted), but to my knowledge it’s not a blood diamond and I’m definitely “reusing.”  And I have to admit, it made the idea of proposing to Jason easier knowing that I already had a ring.  :) 

Eventually, we’ll be looking at ways to get eco-friendly wedding bands as well, but for now, I’ll just post a link to a fascinating jeweler with lab-created diamonds (set in recycled gold!): greenKarat.  And, if you have a jeweler in mind, just talk to him/her/them about what your options are.  Check out the Buyer’s Guide from Amnesty International for some guidance.  There’s always lots of options, and you should be able to find something no matter your budget (tattoos, anyone?)!

And, with this and any other entry, I’d love to see other people’s thoughts and experiences in the comments.  :)